Two Bored Moms

The lady in waiting…

This past weekend my husband, who LOVES her, asked me what my problem is with Kate Middleton. Apparently I am critical…
It’s not so much that I don’t like the girl, God Bless her round-toed, flesh coloured pumps, it’s just that I would appreciate her more if she came with some life baggage…
Has Kate ever sucked the toes of a Texan financier and had the paparazzi conveniently close enough to capture the event? NO
Has Kate ever tried to solicit bribes or sell access rights and time with her husband to influential business men from the middle east who actually turned out to be an undercover reporter? NO
Has Kate attempted to slit her wrists or ditch her husband hours before their big deal wedding because she found out about his long-standing affair or love child? NO
Has her Iphone been hacked and are there unfortunate pics of her in a compromising position doing the rounds? NO
Did William marry her as an act of rebellion because his family secretly wished he would marry someone, anyone else? NO
Kate’s biggest scandal to date is the time in Canada when a gust of wind lifted the skirt of her canary yellow two-piece skirt and the world got a fleeting glimpse of her flesh coloured granny pants and let’s face it, we were hardly traumatized by this….
So after some introspection, I came to the conclusion that my problem with Kate is the lack of a problem with Kate, I want to love someone, I want to laugh at someone, I want to commiserate with someone and I want to ardently defend someone’s honour should I feel that they are being harshly and unkindly judged for whatever reason ——— Saccharine Kate, throw me a bone here, will ya’